Sunday, June 13, 2010

Etiket VS Nurani

Bernadetha Yenni Andriani - might be an ordinary woman, but i´m having an extraordinary heart.. Yes, u are hurting me so much, but thats okay! Hurting me is useless, cos u are the one who´s gonna paid all the pain that u caused.. KARMA DOES EXIST, Fx. DYD !!! *)


Mungkin ada beberapa dari kalian yang kebetulan membaca status FB-ku hari ini, dan aku yakin ada banyak pemikiran dan reaksi yang timbul dari statusku tersebut. Dulu aku berpendapat adalah kurang pantas untuk mencantumkan nama seseorang di wall FB terutama jika hal yang diungkapkan di wall tersebut adalah sesuatu hal yang menyiratkan ketidakbaikan atau keburukan seseorang, istilahnya kurang etis lah.

Siang ini, aku melakukannya! Yup, sesuatu yang aku pandang kurang etis, yang tidak sepantasnya aku lakukan di wall FB-ku dan wall FB orang yang bersangkutan. Aku sadar akan apa yang telah aku tulis, aku ingat betul apa yang telah aku tulis, aku paham betul apa akibat yang akan muncul dari tindakanku tersebut.

Mungkin orang akan berpendapat bahwa aku adalah sosok wanita yang kejam yang lebih mementingkan emosi daripada logika, atau bisa saja orang berpendapat bahwa aku adalah sosok perempuan childish yang ingin cari sensasi, atau malah ada yang berpendapat bahwa aku kampungan atau norak. Tidaklah masalah bagiku akan apa pendapat mereka, setiap orang berhak memiliki pandangan dan penilaian masing-masing.

Alasanku melakukan ini selain merupakan bentuk kekecewaanku yang teramat mendalam, aku hanya ingin dunia mengetahui bahwa apapun yang kita lakukan memiliki bentuk konsekuensi masing-masing yang harus ditanggung sesuai dengan porsi tindakan kita. Everything happened for a reason, tidak ada asap kalau tidak ada api, ada sebab ada akibat, dan masih banyak istilah-istilah ataupun peribahasa-peribahasa lain yang biasa digunakan untuk menggambarkan situasi ini.

Pada statusku itu dan pada wall orang yang bersangkutan, aku tidak menuliskan inisial seperti yang aku cantumkan di awal bagian dari post ini, yup aku menuliskan nama lengkap. 

Dengan segala kerendahan hati, aku sampaikan permohonan maafku kepada semua pihak yang merasa dirugikan. Hal ini adalah murni aku lakukan didalam batas kesadaranku dan aku bertanggung jawab terhadap apa yang aku lakukan. Aku bukanlah seorang wanita pengecut yang akan lari dari tanggung jawab, dan bukanlah seorang pecundang yang tidak berani mengakui kesalahannya.

Satu hal yang ingin aku tekankan dalam post-ku yang ketiga ini, segala sesuatu yang kita lakukan pastilah mengandung resiko, pastikan untuk berpikir menggunakan akal sehat sebelum melakukan sesuatu, dan hal itulah yang kulakukan ketika aku menulis dalam wall FB dan juga blog ini.

Postingku ini juga merupakan pembuktian kepada seseorang dengan inisial Fx.DYD, bahwa kejujuran dan kesetiaan adalah hal yang penting dalam sebuah komitmen, keberanian dan tanggung jawab adalah hal penting dalam sebuah kehidupan, dan aku adalah seorang wanita yang menjunjung tinggi keempat hal tersebut.

Ketika nurani berbicara...
Ketika akhlak mempertanggungjawabkannya..


teruntuk Fx.DYD,

-Bernadetha Yenni Andriani-


 


Saturday, May 29, 2010

A Girl´s Tale

7years ago, a girl got hurt
She tried so hard to face a very deep scar in her heart
Trying hard to runaway from reality she never expected
Pushing herself way too hard to cure that scar she never wanted
She prayed and asked God to cure her

in every prayers, she asked God to lifted all the pain and burdens
she asked God for a humbleness and a peacefulness
she asked God to taught her how to accept life and forgive the world
3 years of struggling was difficult

one day, she asked God for a real rainbow
just one rainbow
one eternal rainbow
who will lighten up her days

this girl had become stronger
the scar slightly disappear
she began to have her life back

as the healing moment still rolled, she was being introduced to someone
someone that she didn't know
someone who is a stranger

time passed by
happiness craved their life
they just talked a lot like every best friends in the world did
there were no strangers anymore
they became closed, yet never met each other

a rendezvous was planned
it was a bizzare and a bit unbelievable rendezvous
like finding back something that missed
like they ever met before a long longtime ago

cupid was flying between them
even though they were apart but their hearts didn't
obstacles made them stronger
love like their never loved before

days, weeks, months, years
God tested their love
it was a very hard moment for both of them
but they succeeded and pass HIS exams
another scenario rolled again
days, weeks, months, years
it even harder that before
but they still survived

a goodwill to move on to the next phase was thought several times
their mind were splendid with dreams, hope, and future
as they getting intense with their commitments, a scenario rolled again

one day, in a very slow rhythm
in a very long process
with lots of ups and downs
they are succeeded being separated
love was not the reason
because their love still there
something seemed force them to ended what they have built

it was a huge damage for the girl
a larger scar she has to determined
tears are just like blood
she just kept asking, Why God?

God said something to that girl.. My child, do you believe in Me?
She answered, Yes God.
God asked again, My child, do you really believe in Me?
She answered in pale, Yes God i know this is very hard but i still believe in You.
God said, If you really believe in Me, why are you crying?
She answered with tears all over her eyes, God, i lost my rainbow

God smiled at her and whispered on her right ear.....

My child,
a rainbow always came up after the rain is gone and the sun starts to show it face
Now the rain is surrounding you, you don't know when it ends, but I do.
Rain wont surrounding you forever, the sun will arrive, but i cant tell you now.
I just want you to prove your words to Me, that you are believe in Me.
If you really believe in me, don't cry
I feel sad when your tears fall down
My child, 
just trust your heart and let Me stay in your heart
Please, let Me do My job in your heart
And when My job is done, I know that you will put the biggest and the largest smile ever in your face
Because on the day i finished My job, a sun will shine all over you and bring out the rainbow back into your life, even the rainbow will be more beautiful and gorgeous than you ever imagine
Be patient, My Child 
Let Me do My part.
Believe in Me.

today..
that girl is sitting in her room
she is doing something while God is working His part
that girl is writing a story that you read right now
in her heart she said.. I believe in You, God!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Why is Y

Finally, i have my own blog!

After quite a long time of having the passion to make my own blog, finally i´ve made it!
One of the reason is the title. I am confused in searching the proper and exact combination of words that could express everything about what i wanna write in this blog.


Until one day when i have a chit chat with one of my best buddies in a junk food restaurant near our house, she mentioned that she wanted to make her own blog but was confused on what her blog title should be. I said, ¨hey, i also wanna do the same thing! same problem, haven't find the title yet!¨. 
Then she asked about what will i write on my future blog, so i said, ¨everything about me!¨. Suddenly a question flying around my head just as fast as flashlight, ¨Why me??¨, what is so special about me? which side of my life that i wanna observe more? why should i observed my self? 
Then i knew, i really wanna write about my self but not just that it, i have seen my self as a book that have thousand of colorful moments. This is about my life, my passion, my thoughts, my goals, my future, my dreams, my principals, my point of view, my strength, my weakness. This is about a person named Yenni!


Then a few options came up in my head. 

Why is Y ?? ... Y is Y !! ... Y is Why !!

because this is about Yenni! Yenni is Yenni, and Yenni is the reason why i made this blog.


ha ha, kinda narcissistic huh??? :D
I am not intend to show off or being the drama queen here, but instead, i wanna learn more about my self, being honest with my own heart and being more brave to shout out my thoughts. I wanna share my point of view and willing to have feedback, input, and comments from people about it. I believe that those input can help me in developing my self become maturer, becoming a better me.


This is just the way i express my thoughts, though everybody have different thoughts to expressed with their own way.